Emmett's Insides, Part II

Remember two years ago when I wrote about our adventures with the pediatrician and Rolin's cow's milk protein allergy?

It's Emmett this time. He has it too.

His is worse, though. Rolin's didn't show up until he was about four months old (that and we didn't know any better).

Almost one month to the day after Emmett was born, his beautiful, seedy, mustard yellow, perfect-looking breast-fed-baby poop turned dark green.

I hoped and prayed it was simply an imbalance in foremilk/hindmilk, though I knew that wasn't going to be the case. He was a champion eater.

He pooped frequently and most of them were mucusy. As predicted, a stool sample left at the doctor's office came back positive for blood.

So I cut dairy out of my diet.

Green, blood and mucus continued so we tried eliminating dairy and soy. I told the doctor that eggs upset my stomach sometimes, so she suggested taking it easy on eggs. I also told her I ate peanut butter every day, so she suggested trying almond butter instead. She also mentioned corn is becoming more of an issue with babies.

After two weeks of no dairy, soy, eggs, corn, peanuts or coconut (my own hunch), diapers started turning yellow again. Hallelujah!

The celebration was short-lived. I introduced some of those items, all except dairy and soy, back to my diet, and the nasty green poo returned.

So I cut them all again. It didn't work this time. Except for three random days after Thanksgiving when he had beautiful, seedy, mustard yellow, perfect-looking breast-fed-baby poop again. The only thing I had done differently leading up to that time was I had no wine or beer.

I also started being suspicious of strawberries, tomatoes, grapes...

Dairy and soy are in a lot of food (there is soy in the gum brand we chew), but corn is in everything, guys. Corn syrup, cornstarch, corn oil...did you realize baking powder is cornstarch?

All this nonsense was driving me insane. Not only was I hungry all the time, my physical and mental health were starting to take a turn. Crazy diets can mess with your flora, man!

Changing Emmett's diapers filled me with dread. Sometimes I would tell myself the poop looked yellow, only to have my balloon of hope popped when I'd ask Rolin what color it was and he'd say, "green!"

Two-year-olds don't lie when it comes to color-coding poop.

Some days were filled with tears which welled up out of frustration, confusion, obsession, terror, anger, doubt, feelings of failure/poor parenting, empty hope...

Overall, Emmett is a growing, thriving baby. His reactions could be worse (Google image search it, if ye doubt the claim). He only had a couple eczema spots (Rolin had many) and he was generally happy (but boy, can he scream). His spit up was never projectile, though there was quite a bit of it.

We made several trips to the doctor, who had a child of her own with cow's milk, soy and corn allergies, so I trust her assessment in this situation. She said she would support me continuing to breast feed or to move to formula. That may make a sane person feel better, but it was around Christmas time my mama heart could take no more of the nasty poops. I was fearful, nervous, obsessive, getting more gray hair and, most of all, joyless.

This situation was robbing me of my ability to experience and appreciate the joy surrounding me: my two beautiful, smart, growing, curious, amazing boys. I would have to almost daily look in the mirror and tell myself to snap out of the funk I was in; to put on a smile and go be silly with my 2-year-old; to believe Emmett was going to be ok and go scoop him up and kiss him all over because he is mine and I can, and should, do that instead of being afraid to love him wholeheartedly because I was terrified I was slowly killing him. I've been in a bad place. The past five months had flown by and all I can really remember about them is green poop. That's no way to live life.

Two weeks ago, after he had about nine water-like green poos in one day, followed by a day of bloody poo, I knew it was time to do formula.

Another reason I was dreading formula was because the transition with Rolin was awful. Rolin thought we were trying to kill him. Joe and Brianna were visiting that weekend and can attest to the terribleness of it. We tried sippy cups, spoons, syringes, real cups, several different brands of bottles...he simply would not drink it, not to mention I became super engorged and uncomfortable for about two weeks. But, in the end, Rolin drank it and my boobs recovered. All was fine; Rolin was even allergy-free by 15-months-old.

Emmett is now on Alimentum, the liquid kind because that's the only corn-free formula. His poops look a lot better now, which is the overall goal. He fussed a little at the first bottle and denied the second bottle until it was mixed with breast milk. By the forth bottle he was flapping his arms in hungry excitement at the sight of a bottle of straight formula; he hasn't given breast milk a second thought since. Whaaaat??

Yep, he hardly batted an eye. Weaning has been a lot easier on me this time too, which is a huge relief. Now I just need to come up with $11 extra a day for the next six months to feed the kid (insurance denied our request because Emmett is gaining weight. Another story for another time).

I could go on about this -- it was for five months, after all -- but I'll stop here. Many of my acquaintances and relations are tired of hearing about this, I'm sure, but I thank them for their listening, patience and support!!

From November -- already two months ago! 

Embracing the moment. Picture taken at post time.

Pics of B2T2

Here's our baby #2!

I think B2T2 looks like Rolin -- in the chin area, anyway. I'm so looking forward to what this little one looks like; to see similarities and differences between my two babies will be amazing and mind blowing all at the same time.

Well, the whole concept of creating a human is pretty mind blowing, actually. It's the oldest, most natural thing that happens all over the world, every second of the day -- even animals make new animals -- and it is still such a phenomenal miracle to sit and think about.

Overall, B2T2 appears to be healthy and growing at the right pace. There is one thing that had me a little worried though. If you look closely at this picture again, perhaps you'll see it yourself.

Yes, that's the umbilical cord, "loosely" crossed around the shoulder and neck area. Now, I realize baby has another 20ish weeks of flipping, rolling and twisting to do, and that some babies are born with it wrapped up that way and are fine -- most are! You can even have a C-section if it is necessary (and that's fine by me!), but seeing this made me nervous. Then I read about things in some books and online and learned more. Well, that was a mistake.

3D pics are nice, but are they really that nice? Anyway...

I called and spoke with a nurse, who, after I had to be more or less forceful with to get her to read the results and look at the picture, told me yes, the scan results did note that the cord is loosely wrapped. She also did say that had there been any concern, the midwife or doctor would have brought it up.

That's all well and fine, but I guess what I'm trying to say is, I was concerned. I didn't want to be, I really didn't, but I let fear and anxiety take over and it was all I could think about. It was ALL I could think about. I unexpectedly burst into tears after I got of the phone with the nurse...I think I scared Rolin...but I calmed down soon enough to comfort him and tell him I was fine, just nervous about baby.

He didn't really care. He just wanted me to be quiet so he could watch "Thomas" in peace.

I shared the developments with a few friends, complaining about the crassness of the nurse. But I knew what I had to do. And I asked the friends to do the same. I prayed about it...not just to fix it, but to not think about it. I asked God to take my fears, nervousness and recurring blasts of terrible thoughts. I did not want them poking at me all day, all night and the next day again.

You know what, so far, it's worked. Thank you, Lord! Of course, it crosses my mind from time to time, but I just do my best to shake it off.

It's so easy to worry, but worry will wreck you. It has wrecked me before. That's why I don't want it this time.

Another thing that helps is I've actually been reading my "Jesus Calling" devotional...the book that's moved with me three times. It's spent time in three bathrooms, where I told myself I'd read it. I didn't. I don't really do New Year's resolutions, but you could say this year mine is to actually do a daily devotional, so the book spends time on the kitchen table now. It does get covered by one of the two high chair trays, mail or other randomness that lands on my kitchen table, so I forget about it from time to time, but, overall, I've read it more in the last two months than in the last three years.

My original intent with this post was to share today's devotional entry, so without further rambling, here it is:

March 4

REFUSE TO WORRY! In this world there will always be something enticing you to worry. That is the nature of a fallen, fractured planet: Things are not as they should be. So the temptation to be anxious is constantly with you, trying to worm its way into your mind. The best defense is continual communication with Me, richly seasoned with thanksgiving. Awareness of My Presence fills your mind with Light and Peace, leaving no room for fear. This awareness lifts you up above your circumstances, enabling you to see problems from My perspective. Live close to Me! Together we can keep with wolves of worry at bay. LUKE 12:25-25;  1 THESSALONIANS 5:16-18

Will you do something for me, readers? Will you pray for B2T2? Will you also pray for me to not worry? Like I said, it's so easy to feel worry. In fact, I think it's expected by some people that we're worried about one thing or another all the time, you know what I mean? Thank you for helping hold me accountable with this particular worry of mine, and any future worrisome events that may cross my path, spoken or unspoken.

I've decided to end this post with some new pics of life:

My big baby thinking he's a small baby.

Movie and popcorn while dad's out of town.

January so far

January has been busy so far, and I didn't really expect it to be so. That's better than boring, right?

Rolin had a really runny nose for about three weeks -- I mean really runny. We'd wipe it, turn around to throw away the tissue and then within seconds it'd be running past his chin again. I tried to pretend it was no biggie for a while, but when it showed no sign of clearing up, and he spiked a 101+ fever for a few days, we went to the doc. I had my suspicions of a sinus infection, and the doc agreed. I went home with a prescription for amoxicillin...Rolin barfed up the first dose -- I mean really barfed it and all of his lunch. Wheee! 

The next day his nose stopped running. Hummm. Would it have cleared up on it's own the next day anyway? Probably, considering my luck.

The rest of the dots are hard to see on his torso and legs, but they're there :(

Anyway, a few days later he started getting red spots on his torso, then legs and then his face. I asked a couple friends and my neighbor for their thoughts and expert parent thoughts, and then called the doc to see what they thought. By the time we went to the doc his "rash" was all over his body. It didn't appear to bother him and he was acting normal, but the poor thing had red blotches and dots all over :( We stopped the medicine and gave him some Benedryl, which seemed to help clear things up in about three days. He more than likely has an allergy to amoxicillin/penicillin. I also suspect roseola. But I'm no doctor.

He's fine now!

I've also been to a doctor or two myself because my body is building another baby! Yes, I'm pregnant; about three months along. Holy moley!

Best BIG Brother Ever, it should say... couldn't find a shirt that just said Big Brother. 

"B2T2" about 12.5 weeks baked.

This new little peanut is due July 27. For those of you who need a reminder, Rolin's birthday is July 24; our wedding anniversary is July 26; Joe and Brianna's anniversary is July 23; two other family birthdays are July 22. We always thought it would be nice to space our children about two years apart, but we did not intentionally plan them to be exactly two years apart! Nor did I really intend on spending another Christmas season laid up on the couch with the first-trimester ickies. All the same, I'd do it again, of course. I mean, look at that adorable profile:

All in all, this pregnancy has felt much the same as the first. I've been starving out of my mind, felt blergy from the moment I woke up until about 1 p.m. and I lacked energy or desire to do much of anything. Thank goodness for "Dinosaur Train," granola bars, apples & cheese, Costco trail mix and a husband who is happy to help. I'm in the second trimester now and things are much better. It really is almost like flipping a switch...I'm still hungry most of the time, but feel much better and have a bit more energy. 

In more doctor-related news, some of our friends in California have also seen their fair share of doctors after a series the triple Bs: blood clots, back surgeries and babies. After a long period of extreme back pain, our friend ended up in the hospital with blood clots; just days later, the need for emergency back surgery became apparent. A few days into recovery, his wife found herself in labor and soon delivered a precious baby boy. There has since been a second round of back surgery, and the recovery continues.

Team Thompson against painful and troublesome backs.

via

For their family, it's been a scary, emotional and trying time -- but it has been accompanied by the elation and pure joy a new baby brings a family. We thank God for watching over our friends and for his continued healing. We thank all of you who joined us in praying for their family, too!

In other January news, Rolin had his first haircut. If it were up to me we would have waited another couple months or so to cut it, but others beside just Justin thought it was looking a little shaggy. It was just hard to say ok to cutting off his baby curls!

Flowing locks.

Justin we tried to give him one at home, but we didn't have any hair scissors to give it a finished look (plus, it was a bit crooked, but that's just my opinion):

Then we ended up at a kids' hair cutting salon to make it look a little better:

Afterward, Rolin had his very first ice-cream cone that was all his own. He's had ice cream before, but never his own cone to eat by himself:

He looks like such a big kid with his new 'do.

Eating the entire cone himself proved to be a bit much as he vomited half of it up after gulping down a cup of milk at dinner. Ha! Gross.

As for the rest of January, we look forward to welcoming a lot of family visitors! Some are now in the vicinity in their motorhome, others are coming at the end of the month. Then my mom and dad come in early February. We're going to host a Super Bowl party at our house for everyone because the Seahawks made it! I can't wait to see everyone, even if it's really the 77 degree weather in Phoenix that was more of a reason for their a vacations than the Thompsons ;) (just kidding!). 

Milk!

Guess what! We had Rolin tested and discovered he is a 0 on a scale of 0-10 allergic level to milk protein! Yahoo! Praise God!

I'm both ashamed and proud to say we chose mac n' cheese as his first milk meal. He wasn't very in to it...I think because of the noodles. The last time he ate noodles willingly was the night before he woke up with diarrhea :(

It wasn't any trouble at all to switch him from almond milk to dairy. I think he likes milk more than anything right now, especially because he's teething and not the biggest fan of chewing.

We're easing into other milk products -- he'll eat yogurt like it's going out of style, but isn't a huge cheese fan. Either way, now that he can have dairy there are many more options for meals, and we don't have to pack a meal for when we're going out to eat or we might be running errands into the lunch hour (although I still haven't stopped doing that...it's a hard habit to break).

We'd like to ask that you keep our little bug in your prayers this week as he's having surgery Friday. He's had a clogged tear duct since before he was born and it just isn't opening on it's own. We started visiting doctors and getting ready to schedule the surgery before we even heard the word Arizona, but because of the timeline and our move south, we had to start over once we got to Arizona with a new ophthalmologist.

He'll be under anesthesia for 20-30 mins and we'll get to leave the hospital the same day. It's really more of a procedure, I suppose... and I'm doing my best not to be nervous about it, even though I have a good reason to be nervous. I had the same procedure done when I was 6-months old and had to be resuscitated. So. There's that. However, I trust the doctors, and they have confidence in the anesthesiologist at the hospital.

They say he'll have a bit of a bloody nose after, but that should be the worst of it. I'm sure he'll have a nice ice cream treat after dinner Friday night.

Troubling Ta Tas

In the midst of our move I developed a medical issue that turned out to be not an issue. And for that we can all thank the Almighty.

About two or so weeks before we moved, I called my OB/GYN to discuss some pain I'd been experiencing in my breast. It was a pain I tried to ignore, figuring it was something left over from breast feeding or it
was the result of the constant punching, smashing, slapping, stepping on, crushing, pinching, rump ramming or head butting my chest suffers from on a daily basis -- and all at the hands of the small child who used to find comfort and nourishment there. It's clear he has no memory of those days; you'd think he'd be more gentle with them if he knew that was his only source of food once upon a time.

Either that or he's upset with them. Let's just say he's forgotten.

Anyway.

Oh, and please prepare yourself. You'll be reading the word nipple a lot. Also breast. Also other words these parts of our anatomy go by.

Nipple.

See! I told you. Prepare yo'self.

So the pain started in the nip area on my right side. I ignored it for a few days until the pain spread. I started to get nervous, and I had a good reason to feel that way. I told Justin about it and we decided to wait three days to see if it would clear up on its own. It didn't. By that time the entire breast was sore and painful to touch, with a heavy dose of discomfort concentrated around the...umm...nipple. It was uncomfortable to hold Rolin (for reasons mentioned above), and even when lifting things I could feel some discomfort. I had had a few issues with clogged ducts and such while nursing, but this time it was different; plus I had no fever and felt fine otherwise, so I called the doc.

They were apparently concerned enough to get me in first thing the next day.

I was poked and prodded by the nurse. She kept apologizing, something I found to be ridiculously silly and annoying. I'd rather she make it awkward by taking a good, long, silent look while she felt around my
sad, deflated, post-nursing hoohaas instead of her saying sorry every 20 seconds. I wanted to say, "Get in there and study, lady! I expected to be violated!"

The nurse was puzzled. We both thought it'd be a clogged duct or something to do with mastitis even though I stopped nursing six months before, but the evaluation didn't point us in either direction. Instead, I left there with antibiotics (in case it was an infection of some sort) and instructions to go get a mammogram and a possible ultrasound on my right breast.

I managed to get in to have both the mammogram and the ultrasound Friday morning before we left for Rolin's birthday party in Grandview (this was another reason for rescheduling and rearranging party plans). The doctor in the mammogram center came in for a look as they too all figured the mammogram/ultrasound would show a clogged duct. It didn't. No one could see anything there (which is a good thing), but everyone was somewhat baffled by the pain, as well as some physical abnormalities (their word, not mine), such as more redness and a raised area, between the two breasts. They told me to call my doctor to discuss results and to get a referral to a breast surgeon for more evaluations. The radiology doc wouldn't go into any other detail beyond that.

Breast surgeon. That doesn't sound intimidating now, does it?

See, when the pain first arrived, I thought it may have been the result of some stress surrounding the move. Hormones are crazy, unbridled beasts, and, as the ladies will attest, totally unpredictable. I had a similar random pain in my ovarian area while working in Seattle...after tests turned up negative, my then doctor chocked it up to stress. I mentioned this to my doctor when I finally got to talk to her (and, oh, what a calming relief she was to talk to!), and she said stress and hormones could be a possibility. So we had a blood draw to check.

Everything was normal. Basically, we were back at square one. Well, sort of. A week later, the pain had somewhat dissipated, but I wasn't about to just pretend none of that happened. Better safe than sorry, ya know?

We were scheduled to move to Phoenix soon, so my doc suggested I get to Phoenix and then find an OB/GYN there to give me a referral to a breast surgeon. She also assured me that following up with a breast surgeon could be overkill, but, like I said, better safe than sorry.

Within our first week in Phoenix I visited an OB's office and got a referral to a breast surgeon. I had to wait another two weeks to get in to see him, but I finally did, with breast films, test results and all other information in tow.

By this time I was, and had been for a few weeks, virtually pain free. The doctor met with me in his office (just like in the movies, guys!) to go over the information I had and to discuss a few things before we went to the exam room. After a quick exam he told me it was a good thing I came in, but that everything is totally fine. Nothing to worry about.

The reason they had me check everything out is because generally women with nipple pain are in their 40-50s, not their 30s, and there is a type of cancer that can start and or camp out in the nipple that acts a bit differently than other breast cancers. Because the pain ceased, and because no one could spot anything at all in the mammograms or ultrasound, there was nothing more they had to look at or evaluate.

And since we're being honest here, I'll tell you that I pretty much stopped retaining what he said after that. He talked a bit about self exams, what was necessary and what wasn't so much anymore, but I was just glad to hear this doctor had no concerns at this time.

There. So now you know everything. It's been a wild few months for everyone, but things are beginning to get back to normal here in Phoenix. Hooray!

I'm still glad I went and covered all my basis with doctors and tests. Listen to your bodies, people. To quote my new OB/GYN, "We don't mess around with boobies!"

Nanny

My grandma hasn't been doing well for a few weeks, and the time came last night when she was able to let go and be at peace. To be rid of her pain.

This lovely lady, who I called Nanny, was 93 years old. She had a happy spirit, a knack for making scrambled eggs, red hair up until about six months ago, a cast-iron stomach and, when possible, a spring in her step. Even when her arthritis ached.

Today, Rolin and I are having raspberries for breakfast in her honor. If it wasn't supposed to be 103F at 8 p.m. tonight, I would consider making Nanny's sour cream potatoes for dinner.

I have many memories of Nanny, and I know some of you do too. You can share them in the comments, if you'd like :). One that is coming to mind for me know is when I helped Nanny get rid of the stray cat that was camping out at her house. We put the cat in a box (picture that, if you will: me, a tolerater of animals, and Nanny, with her arthritic hands, also a tolerater of animals) and took it down to a park far away from her house. In the end, we felt bad about doing so, but were proud of our accomplishment. However, if I'm not mistaken, the cat found its way back to her house!

I also hope to never forget the excited way she'd say, "Chris! How are you!?" when I'd call, and the particular way she said, "Bye bye" when we'd end our convo.

Meeting little Rollybug.

Old hands, new hands.

While Justin was snapping picture after picture, we pretended to be hair models here by whipping our hair back and forth. Nanny really got into it!

A final note here: The Evans clan experienced two losses this week. One expected, and another completely unexpected. The latter was a cousin's (a second cousin of sorts) son who has gone too soon. As a momma my heart breaks, and as a sister my heart aches as I know all too well the pain they feel. Please say a prayer for them to feel the peace of God who will help carry them through this.

He goes before us, He stands behind us

Several friends and family have asked how I've been doing with the move, broken leases, Rolin's birthday, temp housing and other life events. Overall, I'm doing well. We made it to Phoenix; we're still all relatively sane. I'd call that a win for Team Thompson!

While I believe my body still managed to host a physical reaction to stress (more on that later), I believe I did mentally ok with this move. Especially compared to when we first moved to California.

Besides forgetting Rolin's swim trunks for swimming lessons, and, I'm sure, overlooking someone's birthday (sorry if it was yours!), I don't think I experienced too much scatterbrain-ness or overreacting. Well, except for the day the new pediatrician in Spokane (yes, I finally found a new one) told me that there was no way I could bring Rolin in until August 6. We still didn't have a firm date as to when we would leave town, you see, and I wasn't sure if we'd still be in town on August 6.

Hearing that I may not be able to get him in for his 1-year well baby check was apparently a trigger for me; I experienced a breakdown not unlike a breakdown a brand new mom may have during the first two or so weeks of a new baby's life. My crazy-mom hormones kicked in and I was irrationally convinced that if I didn't get Rolin his 1-year vaccinations before we left for Phoenix, he would surely perish or spontaneously combust the moment he saw his first cactus.

Good news: We made it to his August 6th appointment.

This time around, I am 100% certain that my (overall) sanity is owed to a higher level of faith and reliance on God. I mostly trusted with the last moves, but in the past I would let doubt and crazy brain get the better of me. I would allow evil to instill fear in my world. I'd feared things would not work out smoothly, that we wouldn't make enough money to eat in California, that I wouldn't find a job, that we'd never ever find any friends.

Every single time, those doubts have been proved wrong. The Lord does provide.

Doubt and fear are silent, deadly enemies, my friends.

Understanding and remembering that our Heavenly Father goes before us and stands behind us (Deut. 31:8) is a sure comfort. This is a promise I was reminded of through a song the day after learning of our Phoenix assignment, and also by a friend the night before we left Spokane. I'm not saying this adventure was worry-free, but reminding myself that our story is part of his plan, taking a deep breath from time to time and telling myself I do not have to take action or control in every little thing really brought a new sense of peace to this transition.

Some tasks are meant for others to handle, and the best way for me to help is to take a step back and trust. Also known as mind my own business.

There are things I've struggled with in my life -- worry, jealousy, bossiness, biting my nails, hypersensitivity to others words/actions, judging, nosiness (for lack of a a better word that describes getting involved in situations where I don't belong), to name a few -- all things that have been helped through prayer and conversation with Jesus. That's not to say I don't still struggle with these, but I'm getting better.

Worry, for example...well, let's call it irrational fear...

I once saw someone touch raw pork and then reach into a large package of wonton wrappers (we were making dumplings), therefore possibly contaminating the remaining wonton wrappers in the package. Another person took the rest of the wonton wrappers home to use at a later date. I couldn't sleep for two nights out of fear that if I didn't tell them I'd witnessed a possible (and after further review, unlikely) contamination of the remaining wonton wrappers, that this person's family would die from trichinosis.

Another time I hunted down newlyweds in a crowd of people to tell them to please remove the blue crepe paper from their getaway car before they parked at the airport, out of fear that the paper would not only stain their car, but that they'd be super pissed at the bridal party for eternity and never talk to us again. They looked at me as if I was the stupidest person on the block and that of course they already planned on removing the blue crepe paper. They were adults, after all. With brains of their own and everything!

But still, these are the things that haunt my thoughts and dreams.

Also, involving myself where I don't belong. While I 'd like to think of it as being vigilant, others probably find it to be more along the lines of meddling, "oldest child syndrome," being bossy, nosy or a busybody...

I still have a very prominent memory of being called out after whisking away a spoon from a cousin's toddling child. The child's parents were right there, present and watching, but I still intervened thinking I knew best. The parents were actually kind in the way they called me out, considering my actions were unnecessary and they were now dealing with a screaming, confused toddler -- but I think it was the look on everyone's faces that was like someone smacking me upside the head and saying you don't always need to do something about everything.

After that, while I was visiting home for the weekend, I actually told my mom I was disinclined to acquiesce to her request to I make sure my adult-aged brother was out of bed in time for church, that his khakis were ironed and he was wearing a belt (because he hadn't yet responded to her previous (and multiple) requests, you see). This waking-my-brother business was a frequent assignment of my youth, and it'd almost always lead to some sort of outrageous Sunday-morning throwdown between me and said brother.

You know why? Because I made it my business, my job, my duty, and I was determined to be successful. I wouldn't simply stick my head in his room and tell him to get up. Ohhh, no. I'd stick my whole person in his room and start waving my arms around and stomping my feet, demanding he get up. I'd say he was making mom mad, that I didn't understand why he just wouldn't do what mom said, that he knew better, that he was being ridiculous jerkface and he knew it, that he really, really, really needed to get up!!! And don't forget your damn belt!!!

This would cause undo stress, anger, semi-hatred, upset stomachs and unnecessary nail biting for everyone. It could have all easily been avoided.

This particular time, when assigned the task of waking brother, I told mom I'd tell him once, but I'd leave it at that. Guess what? He eventually woke, dressed, ate and got in the car...all...by...himself! There was no screaming, calling of names, hitting or gnashing of teeth. I think that Sunday we actually all walked into church with smiles on our faces. He may have even been wearing a belt!

Sometimes we got along.

Learning to let go, learning to hand over the reigns, learning to pass on taking the reigns in the first place, learning to trust with the faith that all things will work together is a lesson I need tattooed on my forehead. It is (obviously) definitely not my first thought or reaction in most situations. But I am learning.

With this move I really focused on trusting and not working myself into a wobbly, worried, doubtful, control-freak mess. There were groups of people working on logistics and details so we didn't have to, and I just let them do it. Yes, I still had moments of panic, anger, worry, bickering and tears, but a keeping my focus on God's faithfulness and control served as a reminder that eventually things will be back to normal, that He will take care of us. It helped me see God moving in the present.

Perhaps this time it won't take me almost three years to look back and say, "Ohhh, I see what you did there. You're sneaky. Thank you!"

We're moving!

A couple months ago, Team Thompson entertained the idea of buying a home in Spokane. We then decided we'd be better off renting for another year before buying, and instead hit up the rental sites to see if we could find a cute house for rent or lease (something with a fenced yard, two bathrooms, all appliances included, extra bedrooms, something close to a nice neighborhood cafe...you know...the works). 

We didn't find many great options online or from our in-person visits, but one day in mid-June I decided to drive down 23rd Ave. on the South Hill and spotted a for lease sign. It was for a super cute house, with a fenced yard, two bathrooms, new appliances, extra bedrooms, it's next to The Scoop...you know...the works! I called the number on the sign and scheduled a viewing for later that afternoon. 

It was perfect! A nice kitchen with new, stainless steel appliances, three bedrooms + a loft/attic area for a guestroom/playroom/children's room, a garage, was located next to The Scoop...you know...the works. Just look at it! We filled out an application that day. We made it through the screening process and signed the lease the following week. 

We sent out invitations to Rolin's first birthday, listing our new place as the venue. We've lined people up to help move us. We've picked up boxes from random sources. We've packed up about half our townhouse. We are set to move.

To Phoenix. Arizona. Phoenix, Arizona.

So forget what's above. Apparently, someone else has other plans for our family! Just days after we signed our lease, Justin got a call from his boss about an opportunity in Phoenix.

See, a couple weeks prior to this, Justin had casually mentioned to his boss that we were house hunting. The boss was excited for us! Then, a few days later, boss called JT to ask him if he'd reconsider signing a lease because something might be coming up at some point. Maybe. He couldn't tell anything more than that. No hints, no timeline, no possible destinations, nothing.

That's ok, I get the need for secrecy.

So, we decided to go ahead and sign for the house we found. It was perfect, after all, with it's fenced yard, two bathrooms, new appliances, extra bedrooms, it's located next to The Scoop...you know...the works. I mean, just look at it!

Really, LOOK AT IT! You want to rent it too, don't you? (Well, someone needs to rent it...but I'll get to that in a minute.)

Anyway, as I said above, we signed the lease. I immediately started packing boxes and making arrangements. However, within days, we got the call about Phoenix. So, we weighed our options, we told family members, we stopped packing, we talked to friends who knew the Phoenix area, we started wondering what exactly you should do if you or your child are bitten by a desert creature, such as a scorpion.

We also waited. We waited and waited and waited and waited and WAITED for more information from the company. When the official offer finally came in, Justin accepted the position right away.

It's a good move for him professionally, as well as for our family. For starters, the district is not as spread out as his current district, so he'll be home on a more regular basis. Maybe the bags under my eyes will go away?

As you can imagine, we've had quite a few decisions to make and details to take care of over the last few weeks, so please accept this as a formal apology if you are just now being informed of our move.

Our timeline: Movers come at the end of this week.We fly away on August 11th. Ack!

Back to the lease on the other place...so we did sign it. We paid the required fees and first month's rent, yadda yadda yadda. Now we're stuck with a year-long lease for a home into which we will not be settling. It's back on the market and I've been soliciting friends and strangers (including a dude at the park) to please, pretty please, tell all acquaintances about a cute, craftsman-style house for rent on the South Hill. It has a fenced yard, two bathrooms, new appliances, extra bedrooms, it's next to The Scoop...you know...the works.

Thank you to those of you who have said prayers for us during this process, as well as other events that have come up in the last month. I know your prayers were heard because overall JT and I have felt pretty good and at ease about things. Of course we've had our outbursts, but, like I said, overall we're doing ok. Please keep it up :)

I promise to post soon about our crazy July, a month that presented a very momentous occasion for Team Thompson...Rolin's 1st birthday!

In the meantime, enjoy this picture of Rolly bug and my dad on the Spokane Carousel:

Polo shirt party!

Sicko

Little peanut is quite sick at the moment. Justin and I thought we'd wait it out as people get colds, people survive colds and, most of all, there is no way to cure a cold.

But with his fever still looming Wednesday, breathing a bit shallow and his cough so bad he threw up most of his morning bottle, I called the pediatrician to talk over his symptoms with a nurse to make sure there wasn't something I overlooked. When I mentioned "barky cough" they suggested I come in that afternoon. 

I didn't know a little baby could produce a string of snot two feet long (ok, more like one foot) until they swabbed Rolin's nose, causing him to sneeze. Color me impressed! Sadly, the swab tested positive for respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) so I'm glad I took him in. 

There is no quick fix for this nasty bug, but they did give us a nebulizer and a prescription for the vapor that will help break up the mucus. It doesn't make him better any sooner, but it'll help along the way. It makes him more miserable for a while after using it -- more coughing and sneezing -- but at least we're getting some if the nasties (nasty-s?) out. I've never been happier having strings of snot across my shirt. 

It also helps him be able to eat a little better; he hasn't had much of an appetite. Plus, it's hard to suck on a bottle when your nose is stuffed.

The night before last and yesterday afternoon were (I'm hoping) the worst of it. It's the worst watching him cough so hard his whole body convulses. It can't be comfortable at all!

Thanks for the prayers for Rolly (and for me!). The cough is expected to last for a while, but hopefully his fever will go down and he'll get some energy back soon. 

8 weeks and 5 years

When did it get to be the middle oh September? I have almost no recollection of August...those days flew by in a blur of poopy diapers and feeling like a dairy cow. The middle of September always sneaks up on me, new infant in the house or not...

Sept. 18th marked five years since Matt died. I think of Matt every day, though the last couple years it's only dawned on me that it's Sept. 17-18 (it was the 17th in the US, the 18th in Iraq) when I see that someone updated their Facebook image to a picture of a "Matt-tat" they inked on their arm, or when sweet friends and family reach out to let us know they're thinking of and praying for our family this week -- thank you to all of you! Your love and appreciation mean so much.

It's hard to believe it has been five years since we learned he had died. So much has happened since then. So much. Again, I think of Matt daily, but when this time of year rolls around I can still recall all the emotion of that day and the weeks that followed, including the literal, tight heartache that camped deep in my chest for months afterward.

Though the initial pain of loss has subsided a bit over the years, I think that the Lord still sneaks in the realization it's this time of year again as a means of emotional and heart protection; a blessing that's most definitely a result of the prayers you've said for us. Thank you!

Whew, that all came out unexpectedly, but it's my blog so I write what I want :)

Now, prepare yourself for the the most segue-less transition you'll read today...possibly ever.

Or is it transition-less segue? Segue-less segue? Either way:

Rolin is eight weeks old!

All about Rolin:

• Hates, HATES! a wet diaper
• Finds things funny only once. Should you try to reproduce a moment that mere seconds earlier had produced a grin, R looks at you with a blank stare.
• Loves stretching and arching his back back so far he is practically upside down. Interrupt this stretching routine and you'll be sorry.
• Enjoys a long nap after breakfast.
• Sleeps through the night. Yahoo!
• Happier than a clam during bath time.
• Has nearly doubled his birth weight.
• Grows razor-sharp finger nails.
• Giggles in his sleep.
• Dances to "Call Me Maybe." (video coming soon)
• Has super sensitive skin like his mama :(
• Is the only one out of the three of us that is awoken by Justin's alarm...this is a problem.
• Has a new crop of "peach fuzz" up top.
• Is on the verge of smiling.  

Week 37

How far along? 37 Weeks, 2 days

Sleep: Thank goodness for the AC window unit, that's all I have to say about this week!

Best moment(s) this week: Dr. says I'm now about 2.5cm dilated. Secondly, though a little bittersweet, today is my last day working before maternity leave. Aside from populating the store's new website with produce tips, I've not done much in the last two weeks as it was time for the new guy to handle a newsletter on his own. It's a strange feeling knowing I won't have ANYTHING tying me to the computer after 5 p.m. today. It's wonderful and daunting (that's the word I'm going with for now) at the same time. Don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic about the opportunity to be a stay-at-home-mommy, but when you boil it down, a lot has changed for me in the last few months...with moving, working less than part-time, leaving a great group of friends, staying in the house almost all day every day, not to mention being pregnant...and there are many more changes to come! 

Miss anything? Seeing the bones in my feet. Poor things are pretty swollen these days. 

Movement: BT's little feet are usually up near my ribs or off to the side. It likes to do a little dance for dad at night, kind of like the boot scootin' boogie...it sweeps one heel or knee back and forth from one side to the other after dinner. I'm glad Justin gets to feel the little one's acrobatics once in a while too.

Food cravings: I've been digging red meat, salsa and berries this week. When I was first pregnant I wanted Mexican food a lot, now I seem to be back on the same track. Tacos, burritos, salsa...I even made some salsa the other day, yum! Overall food intake this week in general has been less because of the heat. 

Labor signs: The same backache that hits every once and again. They seem to be doing some good!

Symptoms: I decided that all the blinds in our house were gross so I've been cleaning them. I also plan on moping all the wood floors with a vinegar mix at some point...it'd probably be best to wait until we have some cooler weather to try that. 

Wedding rings on or off? Just have the wedding band on lately. The others fit, but I've just been sporting the band just because. 

Happy or moody most of the time: Hot. Grumpy. Swollen. Anxious. Nervous. Excited. 

Looking forward to: Seeing BT on the ultrasound next week. The dr. said my belly is measuring a little small for 37 weeks (should be about 37 cm, +/- 2cm) so we'll take a look to see how the baby is positioned and measuring up. Neither JT nor I are tall people or come from families of beastly-sized folk (well, except for those Norwegians, but I inherited my stature from my mom's side), so the dr. said she wouldn't be surprised if baby is just small, but wants to check things out anyway. Since she's ok waiting a week, I'm trying my hardest to tell my brain not to over think things and work itself into a nervous tizzy. It could also be because BT may have dropped. Maybe. It's hard to tell. Fingers crossed! Prayers for a healthy baby and hospitable living in-utero living environment are appreciated! 

Speaking of an in-utero living environment...and if you'd like a good laugh...read this blog post from Honest Toddler -- a collection of comical posts written from a toddler's perspective. The entire blog is hysterical. I think it's funny and BT hasn't even been born yet! (Thanks, HB, for the recommendation!)

This is all you're gonna get this week...it's too hot to turn on the hair dryer and I don't feel that anyone should be subjected to what my hair looks like when I don't use a hair dryer. Well, anyone except my husband, other park goers and all the staff at my doctor's office. But...they understand. It's hot and I'm pregnant. The end. 

In other news, BT is still the size of a "watermelon." The app had the same stats as last week. Boring!

The knee bone's connected to...

Several years before I was even a twinkle in his eye, my dear dad was in a boating accident. Having heard the details a few times, I have a good idea of what happened, but since I wasn’t there and the specifics are a bit gory, I’ll spare you most of the story, dear reader. 

It involved an inner tube, a rocky & steep incline and a bend in the river. Dad was more or less launched from the tube and rolled up the incline, into a fence and rolled back down. As you can imagine, it ended in a tangled mess including several broken bones, allowing for legs to be in places they don’t naturally bend or reach. 

Thank God he covered his head as he rolled or things could have been much worse.

Dad recovered for three months in the hospital, I believe, and his claim to fame when he was out was that for the year or so he was on crutches, he was able to walk through a cafeteria line on crutches AND carry a tray full of food at the same time. See, you can do anything when you put your mind to it!

I’ve only known my dad to have lots of scars up and down his legs and into his hip/back area; scars I used to think/pretend were train tracks for itty bitty trains. His left knee, in particular, has always been more bothersome than the other. The knee itself is rather large compared to the other…our family actually calls it “cauliflower knee.” It’s essentially bone-on-bone and it slips and pops from time to time, which startles/hurts him and scares me. I hate it when his knee hurts…it makes my tummy hurt!

With the exception of a few surgeries here and there, not to mention bouts of accompanying staph infection, not much has been done to the knee over the years. However, Dad finally opted for a total knee replacement! He wanted to put it off as long as possible so he wouldn’t have to face multiple replacements over time.

Because of his history of staph, he had to be checked by the CDC before they scheduled a replacement. When he got the all-clear, dad made his replacement appointment with Dr. Roux…the same doctor who preformed my ACL replacement about 11 years ago!

Dad is home and recovering now. Though his entire leg is much more swollen and painful than expected – we hear there was some hammering involved because of how bad of shape the knee area was – things seem to be healing well!

Mom snapped this picture of the x-ray comparison at a recent appointment.  

His new knee is on the left, with the old on the right. It doesn't even really look like a knee, does it? It kind of looks like the old knee had its own brain, I think! 

Thanks to all who prayed for skilled doctors, a safe surgery and a swift recovery!!

Now....if you get queasy, DO NOT SCROLL DOWN. 

Seriously.... don't do it. I want you to read the blog again, so forgive me if you are queasy and you do see the following picture. But again, this is your warning. 

Dad's knee a week after surgery. Looking better!! See those train track scars I mentioned earlier :) If you really want a good look, click on the picture for a larger image!

2012: the end of life...as we know it!

So.

Brace yourselves.

Team Thompson has an announcement.

Well, two announcements.

The tricky part is deciding which to share first.

It’s likely that you, dear reader, have already heard one.

Well, it’s more likely, if you know my parents, that you know both.

It’s also possible that if you offered me an alcoholic beverage in the last few months, I refused after an awkwardly long pause, making way for you to have already guessed one announcement on your own. Well done, you!

I’ve kept one secret a little more of a secret for the sake of my source of income, so I ask you to please do the same, as much as you can, for the time being. So we’ll unveil that one first…

Here we go:

We’re moving to Spokane! After working three years in the position that brought us to Cali, Justin is being promoted/transferred to a new position in Spokane. He was offered and accepted on Friday. The company made it official at 10:30 this morning. CONGRATULATIONS, JUSTIN!!!! This is definitely well deserved.

From San Jose to Spokane! WA dot deciphering: Yellow = Spokane (new home destination). Red = Grandview (CT's hometown). White = Aberdeen (JT's hometown)

Sorry if you haven't been told in person or over the phone by one of us. This is the official announcement for everyone!

My emotions about moving were mixed, which surprised me. I’m definitely excited to be closer to family, especially because…well, we’ll get to why…but in the last year, JT and I have finally started feeling at home in Cali. We have an amazing group of friends that have become our Cali family, a wonderful church, a little yard, two rooms, it’s pretty much sunny all the time, we think we’ll die of frostbite if it’s any cooler than 50 degrees outside and we can get around, for the most part, without GPS. It’ll be hard to say goodbye to everyone, but I know we’ll see them again.

Our move will begin toward the end of March; we’re still working out details and dates, but they want JT in Spokane around the first week of April. We’ll probably take advantage of corporate housing for the first few weeks to get a better idea of areas and rentals in person.

It will definitely be interesting moving at 22 weeks pregnant.

Oh, I’ve gone and ruined the surprise for you…

Yes, it’s true, we’re having a baby!

I’ll be 13 weeks along this Wednesday. Crazy!

Say hello to BT (Baby Thompson)

We had an appointment last Wednesday that included an ultrasound and all looks well! It was sooo good to see little BT more developed and especially to see that little heart thumping away.

Thanks to all of you for your prayers for a healthy, happy baby and pregnancy. Keep ‘em coming!

So far so good on my end. I haven’t experienced much sickness, with the exception of mornings taking their toll during weeks 8-9ish. Thankfully handful of crackers took away the icky feelings, for the most part.

Cravings/Aversions: not too many here either, really. The last time I ate a green salad was a week before I found out I was pregnant. I made it half way through the salad before I suddenly didn’t want another bite. I still can’t bring myself to eat salad…if you put peanut butter on it, I may consider taking a bite. The last time I ate steel cut oats was also about the same time I stopped eating salad.

I usually eat steel cut oats for brekkie every morning (at least every morning since the heart/open heart surgery party got underway…you should consider getting yourself some, too). I took some to work to reheat for breakfast, it might even have been the same day I half-ate the salad for lunch. I heated it up, looked at it and promptly returned it to the fridge. Then I went downstairs for cottage cheese and a banana (a perk of working at a store). I haven’t touched steel cut oats since. Even just thinking about eating them for breakfast is unappetizing. It was about that time I started wondering if something was changing…

Peanut butter, on the other hand, has been within arm’s reach almost the whole time. Peanut butter and pretzels, peanut butter and apple, peanut butter and Saltines, peanut butter and toast, peanut butter and Tim Tams, peanut butter on a spoon…you get the point.

Other than that, I’m just hungry most of the time, and “severe” hunger can creep up super fast. I’ve started carrying snacks everywhere I go, just to be on the safe side. Trust me, I learned the hard way.

I’m starting to get more energy back, and boy does that make a difference! I even made an entire from-scratch meal last weekend, after a quick hike, no less! Pretty soon I might even be able to put on more than just mascara before leaving the house. Watch out, world!

Again, thank you to all who share our excitement. Your prayers for ease and peace in moving, renting, packing, job training & increased responsibility, baby growth & health, pregnancy wellness and sanity overall are very welcome and appreciated. We have a lot ahead of us and couldn’t do it all without your care and support.

If there is one thing we’ve learned and come to rely upon is that God works all things together for good for those who love him. All of these things came to us as a surprise…we wanted to start a family, but discovered it would be a [too] significant financial strain to do so in Cali. So we waited…then we decided to just start one anyway and figure it out as we went along.

Well, we waited longer than we thought we’d have to, but that’s another story for another time. Then all the sudden, JT was approached with the possibility of Spokane and WHAM…we’re pregnant and moving. The Lord works in mysterious ways!

Until next time,

The [Growing] Team Thompson

PS: we appreciate your discretion in comments…please do not mention either of our employers by name :)

Wee, Wee, Wee...

Justin surprised me a few weeks ago with a ticket home to see my family. He knew I was feeling homesick so he worked it out with my parents, my boss and my friend Linsley to get me home for a long weekend.

Linsley and Gavin picked me up at SeaTac Thursday night and we headed up to my old hood, Lake Forest Park, to meet friends Tara and Erin at the Lake Forest Bar & Grill. You'll have to take my word for it...I forgot to take a picture of the group.

Friday we headed out early for Eastern Washington to surprise my parents who thought I wouldn't be in Grandview until  much later that evening. I'm glad I made it home earlier because mom and I were able to join Brianna on a very successful wedding dress shopping outing (she found "the one!!").

On Saturday I got fitted for my bridesmaid dress and then I got to meet this precious little tatertot:

This is Miss Emmalyn, baby daughter of my friends Erin and Mike. It was so heartwarming to see my friend, a friend I've known  my entire life, and her hubby looking at and loving on their baby girl. I was so happy to get to meet Emmalyn and spend some time snuggling with her!

Later that evening we had more family join us at my parents' house for a family BBQ. Family came from near and far and it felt so good to see everyone! Family get-togethers happen regularly back home, and they're something I realized, during this last trip, that I take for granted. It'd been a while since I attended such a gathering that was held for no particular reason...well besides the fact that I was visiting. Seeing everyone together made me feel happy and sad at the same time, for all sorts of reasons. It's hard to replace the feeling of being in a room full of people I love and who (I'm assuming...we're family, after all) love me in return. It's probably what I miss most about being closer to home.

 

Joe and Dad chattin' by the BBQ

 Mom brought out the fancy cake for the occasion

 

Donald and Joe at the gun show

 

 Brianna and her entourage :) The kiddos love her!

 

Nanny and me

I went to church Sunday with my parents, and Joe & Brianna came too. They wanted to scope out the church because that's the venue they've chosen for their wedding ceremony. Mom and I made the loop with Brianna through the church after the service to point out all the different areas used for wedding prep. Of course, because there were more girls than guys in the house by the time we got back home, wedding talk continued into the afternoon where we talked over food options, yard decor for the reception, timing, photos, etc. It's cute to watch Joe & Brianna talk about wedding plans because they're both so excited! It makes a big sister happy to see her little brother in love.

My friend Heather came over Sunday afternoon with her baby girl, Makiya, who turned 1 in February. We spent most of the time trying to get Makiya to take a few steps, but she was happier flipping through books and playing with some of the toys my mom dug out of the old toy cupboard. It was great to spend a bit of time with Heather -- I've missed that girl! Some of my favorite high school memories involve Heather! I missed the opportunity to take a picture of the ladies, but I hope to have another opportunity to spend time with them again soon.

Monday came too fast, but at least I was able to spend most of the day in Grandview before mom and dad took me back to SeaTac. Before we left town, we stopped in Sunnyside to fulfill my only request: to go to Burger Ranch.

God bless Burger Ranch's fries and fry sauce.

I landed back in California late Monday night. As the plane touched down I was overcome with a strange feeling. It was a feeling of comfort and relief, a feeling of happiness and familiarity -- these were feelings I've never felt before when landing in California. It seems that I missed this place -- this place I've refused to call home for the last two years appears to be growing on me.

As Justin zoomed down the 101 towards San Jose I realized the feeling that washed over me was a wave of senses saying, "you're home!"

What's happening to me??!?!!

I guess all the "bloom where you're planted" advice is finally starting to sink in, eh? I shouldn't really be so shocked that I'm starting to be more comfortable with the fact that I'm living in California -- becoming more thankful and happy with where I am in life has been a prayer of mine since the day I found out we were moving. Sometimes it's hard to remember God has a plan and there is nothing I can do to predict, control or change it. I shared this "home" revelation with my girls bible study last time we met -- the majority of the girls in the group moved to the Silicon Valley with their tech-savvy spouses, so most are in a similar situation and rejoiced with me as I shared my story as a praise vs. a prayer request (keep your prayers coming, though!).

I had a wonderful time in Washington and can't wait until Joe & Brianna's wedding in July when we'll celebrate the newlyweds with more friends and family. I promise Justin will be with me next time. He does exist.