B2T2 is a...

B2T2 is growing, growing, growing! I think this baby moves a lot more than Rolin did at this point in the journey. Even a month ago it was strong enough to catch me off guard with its strong kicks, pushing my shirt out with its movements.

I guess I should stop saying "it." We did find out what we're having this time:

Justin was just as eager to find out the gender this time as he was last time, so I decided to be fair and find out. I didn't want to just have the ultrasound tech tell us, unceremoniously, so I asked her to write it down so we could find out later.

Immediately after the appointment, we went to Macy's to return something. While there, I picked out a boy outfit and a girl outfit, then gave the envelope containing the gender answer to the saleswoman and asked her to ring up and wrap up the corresponding outfit.

As I walked away, she said, "Be sure to bring the baby back to visit sometime, it'd be fun to meet him! Ohh! Or her!"

Uhhh...thanks, lady.

We opened the package in the car, but not before I burst into tears, saying I wasn't sure I wanted to know, that I wasn't sure if I was ready, not sure how I'd handle and love two babies just the same as I handle and love my little Rolly bug. Pregnancy hormones are crazy, I tell ya.

During my freak-out session, Justin managed to get the package open for a peek, so he already knew once I had recovered (it was about all of 45 seconds, but still). He's the worst secret-keeper of all time, so I knew I'd find out by opening the package, or I'd find out as soon as I put the car in reverse, because Justin would just blurt out, "It's a ____!" not being able to contain himself.

I opted for the package:

As of today, I'm 26 weeks along. That means there are only about 14 weeks left. Ahh! The baby is about 9 inches long and 1.7 lbs (about the size of an eggplant). Here is a pic from when I was 22 weeks. The baby is expected to almost double in size during the month of April!

22 weeks

Pics of B2T2

Here's our baby #2!

I think B2T2 looks like Rolin -- in the chin area, anyway. I'm so looking forward to what this little one looks like; to see similarities and differences between my two babies will be amazing and mind blowing all at the same time.

Well, the whole concept of creating a human is pretty mind blowing, actually. It's the oldest, most natural thing that happens all over the world, every second of the day -- even animals make new animals -- and it is still such a phenomenal miracle to sit and think about.

Overall, B2T2 appears to be healthy and growing at the right pace. There is one thing that had me a little worried though. If you look closely at this picture again, perhaps you'll see it yourself.

Yes, that's the umbilical cord, "loosely" crossed around the shoulder and neck area. Now, I realize baby has another 20ish weeks of flipping, rolling and twisting to do, and that some babies are born with it wrapped up that way and are fine -- most are! You can even have a C-section if it is necessary (and that's fine by me!), but seeing this made me nervous. Then I read about things in some books and online and learned more. Well, that was a mistake.

3D pics are nice, but are they really that nice? Anyway...

I called and spoke with a nurse, who, after I had to be more or less forceful with to get her to read the results and look at the picture, told me yes, the scan results did note that the cord is loosely wrapped. She also did say that had there been any concern, the midwife or doctor would have brought it up.

That's all well and fine, but I guess what I'm trying to say is, I was concerned. I didn't want to be, I really didn't, but I let fear and anxiety take over and it was all I could think about. It was ALL I could think about. I unexpectedly burst into tears after I got of the phone with the nurse...I think I scared Rolin...but I calmed down soon enough to comfort him and tell him I was fine, just nervous about baby.

He didn't really care. He just wanted me to be quiet so he could watch "Thomas" in peace.

I shared the developments with a few friends, complaining about the crassness of the nurse. But I knew what I had to do. And I asked the friends to do the same. I prayed about it...not just to fix it, but to not think about it. I asked God to take my fears, nervousness and recurring blasts of terrible thoughts. I did not want them poking at me all day, all night and the next day again.

You know what, so far, it's worked. Thank you, Lord! Of course, it crosses my mind from time to time, but I just do my best to shake it off.

It's so easy to worry, but worry will wreck you. It has wrecked me before. That's why I don't want it this time.

Another thing that helps is I've actually been reading my "Jesus Calling" devotional...the book that's moved with me three times. It's spent time in three bathrooms, where I told myself I'd read it. I didn't. I don't really do New Year's resolutions, but you could say this year mine is to actually do a daily devotional, so the book spends time on the kitchen table now. It does get covered by one of the two high chair trays, mail or other randomness that lands on my kitchen table, so I forget about it from time to time, but, overall, I've read it more in the last two months than in the last three years.

My original intent with this post was to share today's devotional entry, so without further rambling, here it is:

March 4

REFUSE TO WORRY! In this world there will always be something enticing you to worry. That is the nature of a fallen, fractured planet: Things are not as they should be. So the temptation to be anxious is constantly with you, trying to worm its way into your mind. The best defense is continual communication with Me, richly seasoned with thanksgiving. Awareness of My Presence fills your mind with Light and Peace, leaving no room for fear. This awareness lifts you up above your circumstances, enabling you to see problems from My perspective. Live close to Me! Together we can keep with wolves of worry at bay. LUKE 12:25-25;  1 THESSALONIANS 5:16-18

Will you do something for me, readers? Will you pray for B2T2? Will you also pray for me to not worry? Like I said, it's so easy to feel worry. In fact, I think it's expected by some people that we're worried about one thing or another all the time, you know what I mean? Thank you for helping hold me accountable with this particular worry of mine, and any future worrisome events that may cross my path, spoken or unspoken.

I've decided to end this post with some new pics of life:

My big baby thinking he's a small baby.

Movie and popcorn while dad's out of town.

Not the mama

There is a framed photo of our wedding propped up against a wall in the corner of our bedroom. It's not that I don't like it -- it happens to be my favorite wedding photo! It's just that I ran out of picture-hanging steam, I suppose. Plus, it's usually covered by our laundry basket, so I forget it's there.

Well, I decided to do some laundry the other day, so I took the basket down the hall, exposing the picture.

Rolin has been sitting in front of it since that day, pointing at the pictures and naming those he recognizes.

Cute, right? Aww, he knows who people are! 

Maybe you can even see yourself in this photo? Feel free to point at those you recognize and joyfully call out their names as if you're a 19-month old.

It's fun, yes?

But you know what has got me baffled and questioning my appearance lately?

He doesn't recognize the lady in white, the one holding his daddy's hand. 

You know, the one who birthed him and has never been away from him for more than eight hours at a time (not necessarily by choice...). 

You know, HIS MOTHER!?

He won't believe me when I tell him otherwise. 

To him, this is not mama. 

To him, our wedding photographer is his mother. 

Nothing against her, of course. She's a lovely lady! I just really wonder why I can't convince him that I am the other woman in the picture!!! Ha!

Could it be her cowlick? Maybe. It's similar to the one that makes an apperance at the back of my head if I don't wash my hair daily. And, if we're being honest, I can't tell you the last time I washed my hair two days in a row. Maybe that's it. 

Is it her watch? No, I don't wear a watch. 

Is it her red shirt? well, I do wear my bull shirt from Spain a lot...so much so it's kind of orange now. Maybe that's it. 

I often stand with my hand up like that, protecting my tender Norwegian eyes from the bright sun. Even on cloudy days (which sometimes seem brighter, for some reason). Maybe that's it. 

Tepid Coffee

Too bad it just doesn't taste the same after a half-enjoyed cup has been sitting around most of the morning.

It almost seems this precious boy knows exactly when I have half my energy juice left.

Oh well, at least there's time for half!