What now?

Homeslice simply does not like vegetables. Hates sweet potatoes so much he'd rather shove them in his eye than eat them!

How do you get a baby to eat??

Ew

Sicko

Little peanut is quite sick at the moment. Justin and I thought we'd wait it out as people get colds, people survive colds and, most of all, there is no way to cure a cold.

But with his fever still looming Wednesday, breathing a bit shallow and his cough so bad he threw up most of his morning bottle, I called the pediatrician to talk over his symptoms with a nurse to make sure there wasn't something I overlooked. When I mentioned "barky cough" they suggested I come in that afternoon. 

I didn't know a little baby could produce a string of snot two feet long (ok, more like one foot) until they swabbed Rolin's nose, causing him to sneeze. Color me impressed! Sadly, the swab tested positive for respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) so I'm glad I took him in. 

There is no quick fix for this nasty bug, but they did give us a nebulizer and a prescription for the vapor that will help break up the mucus. It doesn't make him better any sooner, but it'll help along the way. It makes him more miserable for a while after using it -- more coughing and sneezing -- but at least we're getting some if the nasties (nasty-s?) out. I've never been happier having strings of snot across my shirt. 

It also helps him be able to eat a little better; he hasn't had much of an appetite. Plus, it's hard to suck on a bottle when your nose is stuffed.

The night before last and yesterday afternoon were (I'm hoping) the worst of it. It's the worst watching him cough so hard his whole body convulses. It can't be comfortable at all!

Thanks for the prayers for Rolly (and for me!). The cough is expected to last for a while, but hopefully his fever will go down and he'll get some energy back soon. 

No, thank you!

Update

Happy Friday, everyone!

Rolin has been on formula for two weeks. There is still, on occasion, blood in his poo. Overall it's looking better, but it was the recurrence of blood Wednesday night that prompted us to call and schedule an appointment with the pediatric GI specialist. 

(The one our pediatrician's office said not to contact for 3-4 weeks because, "I don't want you to waste your time.")

We just got back from the specialist, and I'm so glad we went. I'm also fuming mad. Not at the specialist, but with the pediatrician.

This was definitely not a waste of my time.

Everyone. EVERYONE, except the pediatrician's staff, has cringed and shaken their head when we relay the tale of how we were told breastfeeding is no longer an option. 

What's happening now is ok. She broke down a lot of information for us concerning the proteins, how they're processed in his body, the differences in formula and how, perhaps most importantly, THERE WERE OTHER OPTIONS to consider before putting him on formula only... 

If I hadn't hopped back on the cheese train already, returning to breastfeeding would still have been an option too...I'm not sure we would have gone that route at this point though -- as I've said to many of you, formula was the decision we moved forward with when a decision had to be made. It was hard enough to make a decision in the first place. Rolin could also be intolerant to more than just cow's milk. The GI (or a lactation consultant or maybe another doctor) would have had me try different diet eliminations on top of that, including soy, nuts, eggs and wheat, to see what could have been triggering this reaction in the first place.  

There does come a point, however, when momma has to be getting enough nutrition in order to produce decent breast milk, so if it were more than one intolerance/allergy, he'd probably have gone on formula anyway. 

BUT to be told breastfeeding was no longer an option by THE BABY'S DOCTOR...infuriating.

In addition, I went to see the lactation consultant last Tuesday, a decision the GI was glad to hear. The nurse I met with was very kind and heard me and my frustrations out. Of course they're all about breastfeeding there, but I wasn't made to feel [any more] guilty for quitting at 6 months, and she gave me a nice list of other things we would have considered if I'd come in earlier/things to keep in mind for next time. These include a hindmilk/foremilk imbalance (which I was suspicious of, come to think of it), the mini pill, a bug he was fighting or another allergen. She also said it wasn't necessary to stop breastfeeding, but was supportive of the decision we'd made and how we'd handled the situation with the info we were given at the time.

And there you have it. We'll start some solids tomorrow...I think we'll skip cereal and start with avocado and then other orange/yellow veggies before moving to fruits. I'm sure there will be plenty of pictures of that excitement!

In other news, we had a wonderful trip to California this week. It was refreshment for the soul! We were there Monday - Thursday, and Rolin did excellent on the planes. More on that soon!

We'll leave you with this: 

Rolly played dress up at the doctor today. Toga!

Armpits of fire

I was recently reminded of a hilarious incident that we think requires documentation.

Before Justin and I were married, he went with me to my parents' house for Easter. If you know Justin well, you know he is a man who (unfortunately) forgets at least one thing when packing for (or returning from) a trip.

On this particular occasion, it was his deodorant.

A little background: Back in their high school days, Joe would always sneak into Matt's room to use his deodorant (who knows why). Matt grew tired of Joe's thievery, but instead of simply telling Joe to stop, Matt came up with a much craftier plan.

Matt removed the label from a stick of Old Spice deodorant and wrapped it around a deodorant-shaped stick of Icy Hot. He left the decoy on his dresser for an unsuspecting brother to find. Had it gone down the way it was intended, Joe would have quickly learned to never ever again pilfer Matt's deodorant.

However, Joe never fell for it and the Icy-Hot-disguised-as-Old Spice was left in Matt's room, even after Joe went to college. I'm sure Matt figured if Joe had struck once, he would definitely strike again.

Fast forward to Easter: Justin discovers Easter morning he had forgotten his deodorant. As luck would have it, there sat a stick of Old Spice on the dresser. Justin applied the "deodorant" and quickly realized something was wrong.

Just picture it...a boyfriend at his woman's parents' house suddenly has burning armpits but doesn't know why. Doesn't know what to do. Doesn't know what's wrong or how to take care of the situation without drawing too much attention to himself.

He runs into the bathroom to try to scrub off what he's now discovered to be Icy Hot. Justin says he straight up threw up from the pain. "It hurt so bad!" This was all happening as we were all waiting in the living room for Justin to come down so we could go to church...waiting...waiting... Finally he appeared and reluctantly shared the details.

We can all laugh now. Well, we all laughed then. Matt was quite proud of his success, no matter the trap had  been triggered by someone other than whom it had been originally set. It worked!

The decoy sits on Matt's dresser to this day. You've been warned!

If Prosser had a movie theater...

Note: Pictures of Rolly's six-month shoot are interspersed in this post to keep things a little more entertaining than dreary. 

If Prosser had a movie theater, then you could say Rolin smells like Prosser: a combination of potatoes and buttery popcorn. 

Why? It's a result of the toughest week as a parent I've experienced so far...well not so far, just in the last five months. In reality, if I take a step back and take into account how happy, healthy and growing Rolly is, I really shouldn't continue to get as worked up about this as I have been. But, for the time being, my world is revolving around one diaper with blood after another, and, so far, it's only getting worse. 

Anyway. Rolly smells like he lives in a movie theater in Prosser because he is now on formula that smells like potatoes, and the smell of his diapers is reminiscent of buttery popcorn (sorry!). You probably have to be from the Prosser area to understand this.  

What's that you say? This is the first you've heard of blood in his diaper? Well, that's because until now I've been trying to tell myself it's not that big of a deal. That it will take care of itself. That all will be well again. He has had occasional (three times) blood in his diaper since Thanksgiving. Hardly anything to bat an eye at, but blood all the same. He was diagnosed with a cow's milk protein intolerance, based on the blood and some eczema.

So far, it's worse on formula. The Cristal of formula, mind you. The formula made especially for babies with this intolerance.

The nurses at the doctor's office say this condition isn't hurting him, which is nice to hear, but I can't help but think that if something is making him poop blood, it can't be good. 

Last weekend, my momma mind and emotional capacity lost their stronghold. I felt I was trapped in a glass case of emotion (a'thank you, Ron Burgundy). I'm surprised there are any tears left in my system. I gave in to worry, fear, anxiety, defeat and sadness. All of which are an unhealthy approach to the situation, I know, but I slipped and fell into my self-made pit of despair. 

I am trying to get out, though. And I'm thankful for wonderful friends and family who have given their time, ear and suggestions.

If you're ready for the list of things that all happened at once, keep reading. If you're thinking, "Christine, get over yourself. It could be a lot worse," I know you're right. I'm even more upset that I let my emotions take over the way they did, but they did. However, this is my blog. A sort of diary, if you will, and I feel like sharing this for myself as well as my readers. 

 Last Friday there was more blood in Rolin's diaper. We left our pediatrician's office with a can of formula and were instructed to stop breastfeeding; no other instruction was given. It kind of went like this: Hey, have you ever given your baby anything else other that breast milk? No? Well, too bad. I'm not going to give you any tips or instruction OR tell you that it's ok if he still nurses...just take this can of expensive powder and get out of here. It's 4:30 p.m. on a Friday and I'd like to start my weekend. Also, if you call on Monday to talk to me about how your baby absolutely refused to eat over the weekend, my nurse will be snarky on the phone, tell you to force it down him with a dropper and then forget to tell me you called so no one will talk to you until Wednesday. Good luck!

I'll tell you this much, I'll never again schedule an appointment for a Friday.

In addition to that, over the weekend the "fancy" camera was dropped and broke. Justin was back from being gone for about three weeks (yay!), but he had the flu (boo!). There was a veritable herd of angry baby pigs living in our clothes dryer. The shower began leaking into our kitchen AGAIN and lastly, as mentioned above, Rolin refused to eat anything from a bottle, sippy cup, regular cup or spoon. Even breast milk. 

Sorry for saying breast so much.

The good news: he is now accepting the formula. The bad news: He now has more blood in his poo than we've seen before. And it's been happening for days now. The blood we noticed previously was usually contained to one diaper, one day.

 

I guess the reason I feel so emotional about the whole thing is because I feel like I can't make a decision. I can't seem to feel confident in any decision I make. I'm afraid to make the wrong one. I don't feel educated on the subject, and that's no one's fault but my own. I thought we had it figured out but I was wrong.  I feel I should have done more research, exhausted my resources to learn about cow's milk protein allergies. How much time do I have to investigate? Who knows best? I am (or was) his only food source and I am making him sick. Is it better to just keep breast feeding and deal with the occasional blood in his diaper, or is this killing him slowly and/or will it be the cause of future intestinal disorders even though they say it's not hurting him now. Should he absolutely go on formula now? Why is this formula making him bleed more? Should we go to a GI specialist? Should I just nurse him? He's growing just fine; he isn't fussy. I'm glad we made it six months, but am I determined to do whatever it takes to try to nurse him for a year? What's best for him? Me or formula? I don't know. I don't know how to find out. 

I've talked to the nurses at the pediatrician's office. (Why not the actual pediatrician? Rookie mom mistake...long story.) I've talked to parents, friends, lactation consultants, the triage nurse at the children's hospital, representatives from La Leche. Almost everyone, save for the nurses, told me to keep nursing and stay off dairy. But why shouldn't I listen to the people at the pediatrician's office? They went to med school, they deal with babies every day. So why is the blood worse? How good is my momma intuition? Can I trust it? Is it being irrational? Is it properly educated? Is it trapped in its own glass case of emotion?

Anyway, I'll be calling the pediatrician first thing tomorrow to discuss the latest. Until then, I'll think of Prosser every time we change Rolly's diaper. 

We appreciate your prayers!